Sister Edith Myflesh
06 December 2001
Sound check
Taking Sister Constance's advice, I decided to make a first, faltering step into the wide world of cosmetics for bingo. Of course, the only make up we had in the house was a couple of lipsticks, some blush and an eyeliner pencil, all leftovers from either Halloween or from way back in the day when my roommate did drag.

Having used it before, the eyeliner was easy enough. The lipstick, however, was old and it wasn't the best quality to start with. I applied a base layer of black and then ran some dark red over the top of that, blending the oily goop with my finger. Not perfect, but it would have to do. I then used some blush as an accent, hitting my cheek bones and temples.

The lipstick had taken longer than I expected, so I was rushing to the train. Going from my place to the MUNI station was a small taste of what I can expect when I do drag and eventually start wearing the white face. A lot of people just ignored me, but I did have a couple people openly stare. On the train, some guy gave me a dirty look. Yeah, I know my lipstick isn't perfect, I had to make do with what I had. I just blew him a kiss.

Arriving at bingo, I found a frantic Sister Betty. Not only did we not have our usual team of volunteers, but we also had no nuns, aside from Sister Betty. So I helped tote tables and set things up. At one point in the evening, Sister Betty turned to me and said, "you can't wear black make up if you're going to sweat." I, of course, hadn't planned on lifting anything heavier than a casette tape. Fortunately, I had a chance before bingo started to pop into the bathroom and try and repair the damage; of course I had brought my cosmetics with me.

Sisters Chastity, Sparkle, Kitty, Dana, Constance and Gina all arrived, saving Sister Betty from having to do bingo all by herself. This was a Good Thing as we packed the house with a little under 230 people. All of Sister Betty's promotion had really paid off.

For the opening number, the house lights were cut and I played a loud, thumpy, techno piece that had the sound of a jet plane taking off mixed in. After the plane noise, three volunteers with flashlights who were standing in the center aisle all began waiving their flashlights, guiding in the nuns who came flying down from the balcony. The nuns had their own flashlights which they were waving around the audience. The audience went crazy. I think this opening act was second only to the shadow play operation they staged when Sister Betty got back from having her appendix out.

Aside from the flawless opening bit, the other high point of bingo was the unveiling of Ballmushka, our new Russian ball blower. Ballmushka was the generous donation of a pair of faithful bingo goers and makes a lovely replacement for the sad old bingo cage.

After bingo, as we were waiting for everyone to leave so we could clean up, Sister Gina came back into the sound booth. "I hope you've been giving someone head," she remarked. Apparently, my lipstick hadn't weathered the night so well. Checking myself in the bathroom it did indeed look like I had been sucking off the entire Russian Army. The cheap lipstick had bled in a giant round splotch around my mouth. Wiping off the mess and reapplying a simple coat of the red, I popped back out and helped finish cleaning up.

As it was the year-end episode of bingo, Sister Betty took the "bingo staff" out to dinner where we were regaled with stories. I am happy to report that Sister Betty is an excellent oral storyteller in addition to being an excellent author. And I'm not just saying that because she paid for dinner. Oh, and if you're wearing lipstick, the spaghetti isn't such a good idea. At least not if you'd like to avoid reapplying after the meal.
recorded in the Book of Bingo :: testify, Sister!

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